In this conversation, former nurse and now professor John Swinton mentions the theme of accompaniment. Speaking of the experience of a depressed person, he said that accompaniment might not mean sitting with someone in their depression but rather helping them find the right medication for their condition. Much of the work I did as a chaplain could be characterized as accompaniment.

I found that each room I visited held a new way for me to journey with someone. Never was the company predictable in their need. That might sound obvious; yet, in doing the same thing of “showing up” to hospital rooms, one could easily assume that’s where the job ended. The essence of accompaniment is to move with another for a time.

Toward the city of God or man? Pilgrims paired for a time. “Love has its speed…” as Kosuke Koyama would say.

Abide means sickness and sarcoma, waves
at your chin and satan’s grin
won’t swallow. Engulfed in saline
the buoyant body bobs
in limbo. Only in dream
can I breathe water but here
I wake where
fear stays.

I was introduced to Julia over at Narrative RX through the CPE residency. About a month ago, I attended one of their, online, close reading workshops. This poem came as the result of a free writing exercise. I like the idea of defining a word poetically, which is an idea I stole from Christian Wiman’s poem “Every Riven Thing.”

1. Learning the rhythm of “action, reflection, action.”

2. Working on how to do cold-call ministry by walking up to a stranger and inviting them to talk about God and their emotions with God thru their emotions.

3. The joy and frustration of working in a residency and interdisciplinary team of which I must see myself as a vital member, equipped with agency to change what I don’t like about the system.

4. I’ve learned how to sleep while on call after more than a couple nights spent staring at the ceiling, waiting for my phone to ring.

5. Attending transitions in care and patient deaths and discovering that there are no right words for the moment. When any words do come that aren’t terrible, they squirm, wild and fresh, from the silence and tears shared with those in grief.

6. The new practice of remembering a highlight or something I did well for the day. I’ve integrated this practice into the vocabulary I know from Ignatian spirituality: consolation and desolation.

7. Self-compassion (a Loving, Connected Presence) is a lifelong practice encouraged by scripture. How can I love my neighbor as myself if I don’t account for God’s love given to me, in Christ.

8. Discovering that conversation is prayer wherein I work to overhear and help others overhear what we say out loud.

This week, I started the winter term of the Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) residency. That means I’ve been at it for three months. The final assignment for the Fall was a comprehensive self-evaluation. I found simultanious relief in not having to cram for a final on one hand. On the other, I struggled to give the assignment a fair shake becuase of the simple and searching prompts given to stimulate reflection. One of the supervisors of the program told me that, next term, he would hold my feet to the fire about “Naming what your’e good at.” I heard the words of W.H. Auden:

You owe it to all of us to get on with what you’re good at.

I’ve also learned that the road to full-time hospital chaplaincy requires board certification from BCCI. Along with board certification, one is required to have denominational endorsement. The Presbyterian Church in America offers great resources for that here.